Unfair review: how to respond with a cool head

You know the feeling. You are sitting in your café or at the hotel reception after an exhausting shift. You open your profile on Google or Booking.com and there it is: one star. The review is full of half-truths, exaggeration or plain unfairness. The guest complains about cold soup, even though they finished every last spoonful and said everything was absolutely fine when they paid. You can feel your blood pressure rising. What you would most like to do is sit down at the keyboard right now and tell them how it really was.

Hold on. Take a deep breath and take your hands off the keyboard. You are not alone in this. Every honest business owner goes through this rush of righteous anger. Your reaction is completely natural, but if you turn it into an instant reply, you will be making a big mistake for your business.

What is happening in your brain at that moment

When you read unfair criticism of a business you have put your heart, your money and all your free time into, your brain does not treat it as ordinary information. It treats it as a physical attack. Deep inside your brain, the amygdala switches on. It is a small part responsible for processing emotions and reacting to threats.

The amygdala sounds the alarm straight away and triggers the familiar fight or flight response. Adrenaline and cortisol flood your body. In that second, your brain tells you one thing: defend yourself and hit back. You want to confront the guest, prove them wrong and clear your name.

The problem is that the amygdala knows nothing about online reputation. It does not understand that a sharp, defensive or passive aggressive reply stays on the web for good. If you reply in this state, your answer will most likely be aggressive, full of exclamation marks and unnecessary details nobody cares about. And that is exactly what you must not let happen.

The golden rule: you are not replying to them, but to thousands of others

Why is it so important not to attack? The answer is simple, yet it surprises many owners. With your reply, you are no longer trying to win over this one unhappy guest. They have already been to your place, left a negative mark and in all likelihood will not come back. There is no point spending energy on changing their mind.

You are not writing the reply for them. You are writing it for the next thousand future guests who will open your profile tomorrow, next month or next year.

These people were not there when the conflict happened. They do not know who was right. All they see is a complaint and your reaction to it. Subconsciously, they are not checking whether the soup really was cold. They are looking at something completely different: how does this business behave when something goes wrong?

If they see an owner who fumes, argues, belittles the guest and refuses any responsibility, they get put off. They think that if they had a problem with you, you would treat them just as badly. They would rather go to a competitor. On the other hand, if they see a calm, professional and matter of fact reply, you earn their respect. They see that you handle the situation with confidence, that you care about the quality of your service and that you keep a cool head.

Rules for handling unfair criticism

So what should you do when an unfair rating lands on your profile? A few basic steps are enough to protect your brand from your own emotions.

1. Take a break. This is the absolute basics. If you feel angry, close the browser. Wait at least a few hours, ideally until the next day. Your amygdala calms down, your stress hormones drop and you get back the ability to think rationally.
2. Write a draft first. Never type the first version of your reply straight into the text box in Google Business Profile or on Booking.com. One wrong click and your unedited outburst is online. Write the reply in a notes app or another text editor.
3. Remove the emotions and cut the unnecessary parts. When you read your draft the next day, you will probably find it too long and too defensive. Delete every dig and every accusation. Leave only the plain facts.
4. Say thank you and stay professional. Even if you disagree inside, thank them for the feedback. If the guest is not telling the truth, correct them politely. Instead of "You are lying, the room was clean." write "We are sorry you were not satisfied. Our records show that the room was prepared to our usual standard before your arrival, and no problems were reported at reception during your stay."

When the words just will not come

Sometimes it is hard to keep your distance even the next day. You are too deep in running your business and every injustice hurts you personally. In moments like these, it helps to hand the task to someone who has no emotional tie to the situation.

A review management tool can help too. Reputo pulls in your reviews from Google and, from the PRO plan, also from Booking.com, and suggests a matter of fact, constructive reply without unnecessary emotions. Instead of fighting your own anger, you just read the suggestion, adjust it if needed, and once you approve it, Reputo publishes it.

Remember that a negative review is not the end of the world. It is a test in which you can show future guests how professional you are. Do not let your amygdala destroy the reputation you have built so long and so hard. Take a step back, breathe and reply calmly. The next guests who read your reply will see a business that handles problems with composure.

If a review is not just unfair but actually fake, see how to report it in our article on fake Google reviews. Ready-made wording for different situations is in our review reply templates.

Try Reputo free for one location